- First Reading: Ezek 37:1–14
- Responsorial Psalm: Ps 107:2–3, 4–5, 6–7, 8–9
- Gospel: Matt 22:34–40
Saint Thomas Aquinas, in his commentary on the order of love—the order in which we should love—talks about these two commandments. Thomas Aquinas, Summa theologiae II-II, q. 26, aa. 3–4. The first is very clear. But in the second, he points out something we can easily miss: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” That presupposes, as Saint Thomas says, that you love yourself.
For him, the order of charity is that you love God, then yourself, and then your neighbor. There is more to say about the order in which we love our various neighbors, but it is important that we hear this: you have to love yourself. And you have to love yourself in the way God intends.
Today, love of self often gets confused with self-care, pampering oneself, or simply doing whatever I want. That is how we tend to think of loving ourselves. But that is not what the Gospel intends; it is not what God reveals to us. That is simply selfishness. The world’s love of self is nothing more than self-centered thinking.
To love ourselves authentically means seeking salvation and doing those things that draw us closer to it. It means striving for holiness in this world. Being holy, following Christ, and obeying his commandments lead to eternal life, to an eternal reward. That is necessarily the best thing we could desire for ourselves. And so that is what loving ourselves truly means.
I don’t think we often see our decisions in that light: in every decision I make, I am choosing for or against that outcome. I am choosing to imitate Christ, to be holy, and to draw closer to the life of heaven, or I am choosing the opposite and moving away from it. If I really love myself—if I truly desire my own salvation—I will make choices that continually draw me closer to him, knowing that this is the best possible outcome for me, regardless of any suffering I may endure in this moment.
That is authentic love. And it reveals how we are to love our neighbor: we love them in the same way. Just as we desire our own salvation and recognize it as our highest good, so we desire salvation for our neighbor.
We seek what is truly good for them. That does not always mean giving them what they want in the moment. Sometimes it may mean suggesting another way. It may mean saying to them, “What you are doing is not good for you, despite what you may think right now,” while offering them the possibility of salvation.
And so, for ourselves and for every person we meet in this world, the driving question—“How do I love them?”—is always answered by asking: How do I offer them holiness? How do I offer them salvation in this moment? How do I draw them closer to Christ? Because that is their good. That is truly loving them. And that is what we should ask ourselves in every encounter.