Envy disrupts fraternity; kindness builds it. Envy turns another person’s gift into a threat. Kindness allows us to recognize that gift and rejoice because the Lord is at work. St. Paul therefore names kindness as one of the fruits of the Spirit. Gal 5:22. Scripture citations are taken from the Revised Standard Version, Second Catholic Edition (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2006), unless otherwise noted.
This is especially important in Franciscan fraternity. Francis taught the brothers to recognize every good in another as the Lord’s own work. Francis of Assisi, Admonition VIII.3, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 1, 132; A Mirror of Perfection 85, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 3, The Prophet, ed. Regis J. Armstrong, J. A. Wayne Hellmann, and William J. Short (Hyde Park, NY: New City Press, 2001), 333. If envy makes us want to silence another person’s song, kindness helps us hear how that voice belongs within the larger harmony God is creating. Christ can free us from the need to compare ourselves and teach us to receive one another as gifts.
Recognizing Envy
The Catechism names envy as a capital sin and defines it plainly as “sadness at the sight of another’s goods and the immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself, even unjustly.” CCC 2539. Catechism citations refer to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd ed. We sometimes use jealousy and envy as though they meant the same thing. Jealousy fears losing something we already possess. Envy is pained because another person possesses something good.
Envy goes beyond wanting what someone else has. It resents the fact that the other person should have it. A brother or sister becomes a rival, and we begin to imagine that we would be greater if the other person were somehow diminished. That is why envy is opposed to fraternity at its very root.
Scripture shows us where this logic leads. Cain cannot bear Abel’s favor. Gen 4:4–8 Saul’s heart turns against David when the women sing of David’s victories. 1 Sam 18:7–9 In the vineyard, the landowner asks the murmurers, “Do you begrudge my generosity?” Mt 20:15.
St. Paul teaches that “love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful,” 1 Cor 13:4. and warns, “Let us have no self-conceit, no provoking of one another, no envy of one another.” Gal 5:26 St. James is equally direct: “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” Jas 3:16. The tradition traces even the wound of death to envy: “through the devil’s envy death entered the world.” Wis 2:24.
Most of the time, envy is less dramatic. It appears in the quiet urge to discount another person’s success: “Yes, but you should have seen the mistakes.” We dismiss a brother’s gift by saying, “That’s just his thing.” We become gloomy when someone else receives attention, or we maintain a steady tone of criticism so that no one else’s work can appear too good.
We can encounter this temptation at home, in the parish, at work, and even within a spiritual fraternity. We may resent another person’s charism or wish that our project, ministry, community, or family were the one everyone noticed. Curated images online can make this worse by training us to measure our ordinary lives against someone else’s carefully selected moments.
The answer is not to pretend that the other person’s gifts do not matter. The Catechism teaches that envy “represents a form of sadness and therefore a refusal of charity,” and that the baptized struggle against it by “exercising good will” and learning to live in humility. CCC 2540. Good will allows us to thank God for the gift precisely where he has chosen to place it. Humility reminds us that God’s generosity toward another person does not impoverish us.
Grace draws us out of the fearful economy of comparison and into the abundance of the Gospel: “All things are yours; you are Christ’s; and Christ is God’s.” 1 Cor 3:21–23. We do not have to grasp at another person’s good. In Christ, we can receive it with gratitude.
Learning to Be Lesser
Francis called his companions fratres minores, “lesser brothers.” That name contains an entire way of life. In the Earlier Rule he directed, “Let no one be called ‘prior,’ but let everyone in general be called a lesser brother. Let one wash the feet of the other.” Thomas of Celano reports that this Rule text supplied the fraternity’s name. Francis of Assisi, Earlier Rule VI.3–4, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 1, The Saint, ed. Regis J. Armstrong, J. A. Wayne Hellmann, and William J. Short (Hyde Park, NY: New City Press, 1999), 68; Thomas of Celano, The Life of Saint Francis 38, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 1, 217.
Minority means choosing the lower place in order to serve. It is not a denial of our dignity. It is a refusal to measure that dignity by prominence, praise, or comparison. The lesser brother is free to care more about another person’s flourishing because he is learning conformity to Christ, “who came not to be served but to serve.” Mt 20:28.
Francis understood from the beginning that the Lord himself was forming this fraternity. In his Testament, he remembers that “the Lord gave me some brothers.” Francis of Assisi, Testament 14, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 1, 125. That sentence is simple, but it changes how we see one another. If the Lord gives me a brother, then that brother is not mine to control and his gifts are not mine to resent. God has placed those gifts at the common table for the good of us all.
Francis’s Admonition VIII makes the point sharply: if we envy the good that the Lord says or does in a brother, our envy finally reaches toward the Most High. A Mirror of Perfection shows the other side of that teaching as Francis honors the distinct virtues of Bernard, Leo, Angelo, Masseo, Giles, Rufino, Juniper, and other brothers. Francis of Assisi, Admonition VIII.3, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 1, 132; A Mirror of Perfection 85, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 3, The Prophet, ed. Regis J. Armstrong, J. A. Wayne Hellmann, and William J. Short (Hyde Park, NY: New City Press, 2001), 333. Franciscan fraternity does not require every person to sound alike. It rejoices when the grace of God takes a form different from our own.
The Little Flowers gives us a memorable example. Brother Masseo, perplexed by Francis’s popularity, asks why people flock to him. Francis answers that the Most High chose him precisely to confound nobility and wisdom. The Little Flowers of Saint Francis 10, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 3, 583. Francis sees himself as a debtor to mercy, with no reason to boast. When we know that everything we have has been received as alms, another person’s portion no longer threatens us. Gratitude makes room in the heart for admiration.
St. Clare lives the same freedom in her friendship with Agnes of Prague. Clare says that she is “filled with such great joy” at Agnes’s well-being and progress, and that no one can separate her from this joy. She also encourages Agnes: “What you hold, may you continue to hold, what you do, may you keep doing and not stop.” Clare of Assisi, Second Letter to Agnes of Prague 11–14 and Third Letter to Agnes of Prague 3–5, in The Lady: Clare of Assisi: Early Documents, 3rd ed., ed. and trans. Regis J. Armstrong (Hyde Park, NY: New City Press, 2006). Clare does not clutch her vocation as though another person’s holiness could lessen it. She rejoices that the Lord is bringing his work to maturity in another sister.
The Canticle of the Creatures trains us in the same way. Francis praises God “with all Your creatures, especially Sir Brother Sun” and “through Sister Water.” Francis of Assisi, Canticle of the Creatures 3, 7, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 1, 113–114. Creation is not a contest but a choir of gifts. The alto has no need to resent the soprano’s high notes. Each voice receives its place, and the beauty belongs to the whole song. In the same way, the grace given to you also serves me because it builds up the one Body. cf. 1 Cor 12:4–7, 12–27
In 1224 on La Verna, Francis received the stigmata, sealing his conformity to the humble and crucified Christ. Thomas of Celano, The Life of Saint Francis 94–96, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 1, 263–265. Those marks of love were not a reason for superiority. They drew Francis more deeply into Christ’s self-giving. We ask for the same grace: a heart conformed to Christ, able to rejoice when his grace is visible in someone else.
Practicing Kindness
St. Paul names chrēstotēs, “kindness,” as a fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22 and elsewhere he uses the cognate verb: love “is kind.” 1 Corinthians 13:4 Kindness is more than pleasant feeling or good manners. It is the stable habit of willing another person’s flourishing and acting for it. In Franciscan life, kindness gives brotherly love a concrete, ordinary shape.
These practices can help us cooperate with the grace Christ gives:
- Name the comparison and bless the gift. When the “evil eye” stirs—at a colleague’s success, a parish’s growth, a brother’s talents—stop and bless the good you see. Say aloud, “Blessed be God for this grace in this person.” This makes concrete the good will commended by the Catechism. CCC 2540. The heart may not change immediately, but the tongue can begin training it to rejoice.
- Practice an examen of gratitude for others. Each evening, thank God for three graces you noticed in other people that day: a sister’s patience, a volunteer’s craft, a child’s trust. Then ask the Holy Spirit to help you notice more tomorrow. This discipline loosens envy’s hold and teaches us to see the Body of Christ more generously.
- “Outdo one another in showing honor.” Rom 12:10. Make a habit of naming someone else’s contribution before your own. In a meeting, at dinner, or at a fraternity gathering, say clearly what another person did well. Public gratitude reminds us that the work belongs to all of us.
- Fast from murmuring. Francis’s Later Rule warns the brothers against “detraction and murmuring,” as well as envy. Francis of Assisi, Later Rule X.7, in Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, vol. 1, 105. Choose a real fast: no detraction, no sarcasm about a brother or sister, and no rolling of the eyes. When complaint rises, turn it into intercession: “Lord, increase the good you have begun in him.” Let Christ make your speech kind.
- Choose minority in concrete ways. Take the lower place at table. Volunteer for the hidden task. Let another person lead the project. Wash the dishes without remark, or write a note of thanks without signing your name. These small acts weaken the habit of comparison and make room for joy.
- Celebrate other people’s feasts. Remember anniversaries and milestones. Bake the cake, write the card, or organize the blessing. At home and in fraternity, shared celebration turns an individual gift into common joy.
- Mentor and make room. If you have a platform—at work, in your fraternity, parish, family, or neighborhood—lend it. Invite a younger person to share a story, facilitate a discussion, organize an event, or lead a project. Ask how you can help that person thrive as a Secular Franciscan. The Holy Spirit multiplies his gifts, and kindness helps them grow.
- Receive your life as alms. Return often to the Apostle’s question: “What have you that you did not receive?” 1 Cor 4:7. Poverty of spirit changes how we compare. When we receive our talents as gifts rather than possessions of our own making, we become free to admire another person’s talents without fear. Begin the day with the prayer, “Everything is gift; make me generous.”
- Pray against the spirit of envy. Ask the Lord to uproot the lie of scarcity and give you joy in another person’s good. Name the relationship in which comparison follows you, and place it under Christ’s lordship. The struggle is real, but his grace is stronger.
- Contemplate Christ’s kindness. Gaze, with Clare, upon the humility of God in the manger and on the cross. Christ “emptied himself, taking the form of a servant.” Phil 2:7 In adoration, ask him to give you his way of seeing, so that you may recognize each person as a beloved gift to the whole.
Letting the Whole Fraternity Sing
St. Paul gives us a clear measure: “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.” 1 Cor 13:4. A cheerful greeting, a quick apology, a readiness to forgive, a willingness to yield a preference, and a habit of noticing another person’s gifts may seem small. Christ uses these ordinary acts of love to build fraternity.
This is how kindness becomes more than a mood. Grace teaches us to listen for the good God is already doing in another person, to strengthen it, and to give thanks for it. Instead of competing for the solo, we learn to care about the song God has entrusted to the whole fraternity. Love, finally, “does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.” 1 Cor 13:6.